Chimera by Stephie Walls

Title: chimera

Author: Stephie Walls

Genre: Adult, Dark Romance

Published: May 11, 2016

I couldn’t be anything other than a romantic at heart — it’s my nature, it’s who I am. But this isn’t a typical story of traditional love. It isn’t a fairy tale. No happily ever after neatly tied up with a shiny bow. It’s a memoir of the reality left behind in the wake of grief — the desolation, the resurrection, and final culmination life offers to the fallen.

This is a journey through love…the love of self, love of a friend, and sometimes love is ugly, messy —destructive.

My name is Bastian Thames…and this is my story.

 

 

 

CHIMERA Excerpt © Stephie Walls 2016

 

When Sylvie died, it left a hole in my being that seemed prodigious. I adorn my face with the plastic appearance people anticipate from me, but internally, I weep. Continuing through the monotonous motion of my daily life, I increasingly find myself lost in what my friends—well, those who remain—refer to as a fictional world: novels, authors, artists, musicians, and the illusion of relationships on social media. The more time I spend on Facebook, the more entrenched I become in the fiction that exists on the screen. I believe these “friends” are truly concerned for me; they’re what relationships are in reality. Sadly, these seem to be the only things keeping me hanging on, but the thread threatens to break daily, frayed from top to bottom. The tightly woven fabric that was once my life has deteriorated beyond recognition.

That’s the crux of my juxtaposition. My life had value, it had meaning. It was everything I had ever imagined it could be. But without Sylvie, black clouds roll through my mind, hindering my ability to think, eliminating productivity, and stifling my creativity. My art is as dead as I am. But online…online I can be anything I want to be, whatever version of myself I decide to show to the world. I don’t have to be the pathetic artist who lost his muse. I don’t have to be the sweet, sensitive man Sylvie loved. I don’t know whom I want to reinvent myself as, but the idea of being whatever still exists in my soul doesn’t appeal to me. My craft has become recreating my persona, anything to escape the pain, the desolation, and the solitude. Surely there’s art in recreating an identity.

Most days, I find it difficult to even get out of bed. The colder it gets outside, the shorter the days are, the deeper I sink—sometimes only escaping the protection of my covers to take a piss or get something to eat or drink. Although frequently, I let those things go in favor of marinating in my misery. My laptop calls to me from my nightstand when the loneliness becomes too much to bear, the darkness too black to see through.

That recognizable blue-and-white screen brings me comfort, the newsfeed seemingly a link to real conversation, touching base with the people I’ve known for years—but it always introduces the possibility of newcomers. The “friend recommendation” is the online equivalent to a friend introducing you to someone new; at least it is in my mind. I always check out the recommendations. They’re often other painters or singers that might have known Sylvie—or people I barely recognize from high school or college. But every once in a while, some totally random person surfaces with no tie to my past.

Those are the connections I find most interesting, most appealing.

They also seem to be the safest, having no knowledge of the person I once was, or how all that remains of me is a fragmented shell. I have made several “friends” this way, people I would say I’m close to—even though we’ve never met and likely never will. Herein lies my fictional world, the one my real friends don’t understand and believe to be emotionally damaging to me. I’m not processing my grief…blah, blah, blah. If I hear that shit one more time, I may scream.

As soon as I log in, the familiar recommendations bombard me as if the universe is playing some cruel joke. There she is, my Sylvie…only her name is Sera Martin. She’s a perfect duplicate with the same striking green eyes, long chestnut-colored hair, high cheekbones, and luscious, pouty lips.

I realize I haven’t inhaled or exhaled.

I gasp and hold my breath until my lungs burn. I haven’t seen her in years. The day she died, I came home and stripped our house of any reminder—every picture, every video, every stitch of clothing, anything she loved. It all had to leave. I couldn’t bear the weight of what the world took from me. I imagined if I discarded everything, she wouldn’t haunt me, and maybe, somehow, I would manage to learn to live again if reminders of her didn’t surround me.

Yet, her loss possesses me daily.

This girl. This Sera. Could this be Mother Nature returning my Sylvie to me in a strange twist of fate? The notion there’s a doppelganger roaming the world has always been a thought I believe in. It’s possible after years of suffering, dying inside, barely hanging on, that my savior has come. Without hesitation, I click “add friend.”

I’ve lived all over the country but have made Greenville, South Carolina my home for the last 20 of my 37 years. I have a serious addiction to anything Coach and would live on Starbucks if I could get away with it. If you follow me on Facebook you’ll also find that I’m slightly enamored with Charlie Hunnam. I’m an avid reader (literary whore to be more precise) averaging around 300 novels a year. I have a penchant for great love stories, sensual poetry and am a romantic at heart.

I currently work full-time in the Greenville area and fill my “extra” time with writing contemporary romance novels with a hint of erotica. I couldn’t do it without the support of my family and friends who push me to keep going when I don’t have the confidence or patience.

 

Hosted By: 

 

Advertisements

Posted on May 11, 2016, in Paranormal Romance & Author's That Rock. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thank you so much for helping out on release day!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Jade Aurora Waters

Bedtime stories...and more...

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Jeanne Fury

Could we have everything louder than everything else?

Domme Luck

Writings of a Domme in Paradise

Vicky Combs - The Vixen

Vicky Combs owner of The Vixen and friend of my author Anna Dubois.

WordPress Tavern

WordPress News — Free as in Beer.

Thrill of the Chaste

Personal experiences in the world of Male Chastity

Lady Smut

We know what we like...

Welcome To CJAsher.com

Sexual News, Events and Resources... For Every Lifestyle!

Christina Mandara

Erotica, BDSM, Bondage and More...

Lace Winter

Romance Novels with an Erotic Edge

CinnamonAndSparkles

Cinnamon bites and kisses simultaneously. Vanta Bonna

Release Parties @ TRS

The best books from the romance genre's best authors.

Romance Novel Giveaways

♥ Freebie and Giveaways of all things romance ♥

SEX w/ Annie

Lets talk about Sex. It's so important in any relationship. This site should give you some ideas on how to put the spice back into your relationship.

Freedom Hunter

Wear the World like a Loose Garment

Wicked Wednesday & more

Be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked!

Stormy Night Publications

Publishers of BDSM and Kink Erotica

Mia Kerick

Love is What I See

Being Blacksilk

Real sex, real kink. Erotic fiction, photos and drawings. Sex toy reviews.

The Mynx Blog

Our Journey as a Married D/s Couple

Beauty's Punishments

Book Reviews and News You Can Use

A Good Woman's Dirty Mind

Real Sex for Real People

Alice Dark - BentAlice

Your Daily Spanking

Vampy and Racey Bookblog

Sharing a love of books - paranormal romance and Racey books

Mary Wehr

SEXY SPANKING ROMANCE

Chelle Bliss

Author of the Love at Last series

Book Blogger Directory

The Big Blog of Book Blogs

Creative Writing with the Crimson League

Creative Writing Tips and Authorial Support from Fantasy Writer Victoria Grefer

UF & PNR Series Bibliophile

This is for lovers of UF & PNR series discussion.

Exile on Peachtree Street

Hunter S. Jones. Author. Atlanta GA

Books by Alyna Nyx

a.k.a. Author Cassandra Burchett

irobert.me

The internet home of Robert Emmett

Anastasia Vitsky

Governing Ana: Spanks, spoons, and happily ever after

erzabetbishop

Erotic romance with an edge

Sotia Lazu

author and daydreamer

SSLYblog

Smile Somebody Loves You!

Jolynn Raymond's Dark Obsessions

Steamy Erotica That Will Knock Your Socks Off!

Jade Aurora Waters

Bedtime stories...and more...

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Jeanne Fury

Could we have everything louder than everything else?

Domme Luck

Writings of a Domme in Paradise

Vicky Combs - The Vixen

Vicky Combs owner of The Vixen and friend of my author Anna Dubois.

WordPress Tavern

WordPress News — Free as in Beer.

Thrill of the Chaste

Personal experiences in the world of Male Chastity

Lady Smut

We know what we like...

Welcome To CJAsher.com

Sexual News, Events and Resources... For Every Lifestyle!

Christina Mandara

Erotica, BDSM, Bondage and More...

Lace Winter

Romance Novels with an Erotic Edge

CinnamonAndSparkles

Cinnamon bites and kisses simultaneously. Vanta Bonna

Release Parties @ TRS

The best books from the romance genre's best authors.

Romance Novel Giveaways

♥ Freebie and Giveaways of all things romance ♥

SEX w/ Annie

Lets talk about Sex. It's so important in any relationship. This site should give you some ideas on how to put the spice back into your relationship.

Freedom Hunter

Wear the World like a Loose Garment

Wicked Wednesday & more

Be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked!

Stormy Night Publications

Publishers of BDSM and Kink Erotica

Mia Kerick

Love is What I See

Being Blacksilk

Real sex, real kink. Erotic fiction, photos and drawings. Sex toy reviews.

The Mynx Blog

Our Journey as a Married D/s Couple

Beauty's Punishments

Book Reviews and News You Can Use

A Good Woman's Dirty Mind

Real Sex for Real People

Alice Dark - BentAlice

Your Daily Spanking

Vampy and Racey Bookblog

Sharing a love of books - paranormal romance and Racey books

Mary Wehr

SEXY SPANKING ROMANCE

Chelle Bliss

Author of the Love at Last series

Book Blogger Directory

The Big Blog of Book Blogs

Creative Writing with the Crimson League

Creative Writing Tips and Authorial Support from Fantasy Writer Victoria Grefer

UF & PNR Series Bibliophile

This is for lovers of UF & PNR series discussion.

Exile on Peachtree Street

Hunter S. Jones. Author. Atlanta GA

Books by Alyna Nyx

a.k.a. Author Cassandra Burchett

irobert.me

The internet home of Robert Emmett

Anastasia Vitsky

Governing Ana: Spanks, spoons, and happily ever after

erzabetbishop

Erotic romance with an edge

Sotia Lazu

author and daydreamer

SSLYblog

Smile Somebody Loves You!

Jolynn Raymond's Dark Obsessions

Steamy Erotica That Will Knock Your Socks Off!

%d bloggers like this: